"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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