Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
