He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
