So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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