Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
