I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
