The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize