school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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