Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
