i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she looked like the before picture.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
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