3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
