sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
