He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
and she was petting her beer can
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
