"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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