We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I came so hard my ears popped.
My feet surprised me
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