What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Its about making memories worth repressing
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
