His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
