Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize