I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize