I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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