Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
