i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
