Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
