Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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