All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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