Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
