Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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