Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
