Already got asked if we're dating
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
