What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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