I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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