covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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