I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize