North Korea, Best Korea!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
