sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
