Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
