his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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