I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
