you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
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I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
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