I feel like abortions should bother me more
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
is wine microwaveable?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
