Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I have post one night stand depression
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