i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
