Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
