News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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