Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
