She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
organizing the empties. That sober.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
