I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
