i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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