I am puke
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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