I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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