The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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