and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
