I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
