My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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