Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I FOUND THE LEGS
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
