Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I am midnight drunk by noon
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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