we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
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dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
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Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that