Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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