Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.

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(712): View more from Iowa

Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.

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(478): View more from Georgia

You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable

(318): View more from Louisiana

You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(901): View more from Tennessee

oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.

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(817): View more from Texas

I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.

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(925): View more from California

I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!

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(647): View more from Ontario

Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??

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