if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
