haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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