I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
