The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
