super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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