fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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