I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize