my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Buhtt sex?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
