I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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