just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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