um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
