it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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