Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize