How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
